My husband and I attended a wedding earlier this month that was very special because of the love the couple shares that brings out the best in both of them and is centered around Christ. Witnessing their example of faith and love was a beautiful sight. The priest gave a heartfelt homily, and one of the things he said made me stop and think. He spoke about how we are incomplete, but it is nothing to be ashamed of. We were made incomplete by design because we were meant to live in relationship with each other and with Our Lord.
Dependence upon someone else is a scary thing. People are not perfect, and they often let us down. We like to think we can do it all ourselves and that we don’t need anyone. Our society encourages us to focus on ourselves— what we want, what we can achieve. But God encourages us to focus outside of ourselves— to take care of others and let them take care of us in return. It is so wonderful to be cared for, but the problem is to experience this we have to let go of our sense of control and trust other people— knowing that sometimes this means we might get hurt. We have to let others in. We have to let God in. We were not meant to walk alone. He designed us for companionship.
The best parts of my life are my relationships with my family, my friends, and my God. I find meaning in my life through serving them. My successes are so much sweeter having people to share them with. My burdens are lighter having people to help me carry them. What the priest said about being incomplete really resonated with me because my husband balances out my shortcomings so perfectly and helps me be the best version of me I can be. In fact, all of the people in my life are a part of me. I think that is why we grieve so much when a relationship ends— because that person has become a part of us.
When we love each other it draws us closer to God because God is love. Even God is relational. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit share an eternal love that is so strong that the three are one. When we marry we become a living symbol of God’s love, and this love is so great that it often creates new life, and the love continues to grow. How beautiful God’s vision for our life is!
But it takes work. Relationships are not easy, especially marriage. Some days you may look at your spouse in wonder— amazed that God created the perfect complement to you. Other days you might be afraid that you and your spouse are growing in different directions and wonder how you will work through these differences. When I asked my husband before we got married why he thought our relationship would last when so many other marriages do not, he said faith. Now six years into marriage I know that this is true because we believe that our union was blessed by God, and when we struggle, we cling to God and find our way through. Working through challenges is often painful and scary, but once you make it to the other side you find your relationship has grown stronger. Even when we find a moment of reprieve, there is still work to be done to make sure that we are loving and serving each other every day despite the distractions of caring for kids and a household, working, etc. The road isn’t always easy, but we never walk it alone. It may feel like the world has abandoned us at times, but God never will.
So if you are feeling incomplete and wondering why you can’t do it all on your own— my dear, you were designed incomplete so that you would seek out love and find God.